The Lake Monsters of America
People love to fill in mysterious areas of nature with myths of monsters. Early maps had voids of knowledge marked with warnings that “Here be Dragons,”sasquatches are believed to be prowling the thick forests, and legends tell of strange creatures that might be concealed beneath the surface of our lakes. Here we present our map of American lake monsters (view it large here), showing the spread of cryptids that might be lurking in the depths of the waters of the United States.
You’ll see a good share of serpent-like animals of the Loch Ness Monsters variety, such as Isabella of Bear Lake in Idaho who was spotted by a Mormon pioneer in the 19th century and even had Brigham Young himself send a hunting party after the possible plesiosaur. There’s also the famed Champ of Lake Champlain, possibly the most famous of American lake monsters, and the Lake Dillon monster in Wyoming that some think is being suppressed by a secret society. However, that’s just where the fun of this fauna folklore begins, as there are also legends of monolithic turtles, webbed hominids, a goat man, a winged alligator snake, a horse-headed alligator, a giant killer octopus, and an eel with a pig head. Just for kicks, we’ve included some illustrations of the more curious entities on our Lake Monsters of America map.
For more in-depth assessments of the most curious of the bunch, keep reading The Lake Monsters of America on Atlas Obscura!
Everyone loves a good monster story! [But please remember, they’re just stories, not science.]
i made cookies to take to my o-chem final tomorrow to share with friends
they are peppermint flavored in celebration of the upcoming holidays
but they are burnt and bitter tasting to represent our impending failure
i make jokes about pete wentz to hide my intense and heartfelt gratitude and love for him because that shit is not punk rock
alternately we can scream it from the rooftops; all the haters can fuck off
Jean & Scott, Episode 5.
See previous episodes:
I’d like to get yo know you, but you’re talking much too slowly.
"my name is hazel. i started out as an idea, but i ended up something more. not much more, to be honest. it’s not like i grow up to become some great war hero or any sort of all-important savior….. but thanks to these two at least i get to grow old. Not everbody does."
Of course it is.
ALL BITCHES THIS IS MY HOME TOWN TAKE A FUCKING SEAT WHILE I TELL YOU THIS STORY. GET A BOWL OF POPCORN BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS DOPE
IN THE 1940’S PORTLAND WAS PUTTING IN LAMPPOSTS AND FOR WHATEVER GOD DAMN REASON THIS ONE NEVER GOT FILLED.
IN 1946, DICK FAGAN, AN AMERICAN IRISHMAN WHO WROTE FOR THE OREGON JOURNAL, GOT BLOODY FUCKING BORED AT HIS JOB AND WOULD LOOK OUT HIS WINDOW ONTO THIS SAD EXCUSE FOR ROAD CONSTRUCTION HOLE. ONE DAY HE SAID “FUCK THIS”, PLANTED SOME FLOWERS, AND NAMED IT “MILL ENDS PARK” BECAUSE IT’S RIGHT AT THE END OS MILL STREET. BITCHES!
HE WROTE ABOUT THIS NEW FUCKING PARK AND SPOKE ABOUT HOW LEPRECHAUNS LIVED THERE AND SHIT. MOTHERFUCKING LEPRECHAUNS IN THE MIDDLE OF DOWNTOWN, WHAT THE SHIT.
HOLD ONTO TO THE EDGE OF YOUR SEATS BECAUSE THIS RIDE GETS EVEN BETTER. THIS PARK HOLDS A GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR BEING THE SMALLEST PARK WITH WITH INFORMATION SAYING “It was designated as a city park on 17 March 1948 at the behest of the city journalist Dick Fagan (USA) for snail races and as a colony for leprechauns”. MOTHER. FUCKING. SNAIL RACES. BITCHES.
IT’S EVEN BEEN PIMPED OUT OVER THE YEARS
HO HO HO MOTHERFUCKS WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS HERE
WE CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT.
THE BEST PART IS THAT IT EVEN HAD OCCUPY PORTLAND PROTESTERS
SO I HOPE YOU FUCKING LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY ABOUT TINY ASS PARKS.